The Importance of Evil
Prologue: Carl's Idea "Carl! It's time for Ducky Momo. Where are you?" "In the kitchen, sir!" Carl rushed over to the living room of the OWCA headquarters where Major Francis Monogram was sitting on the couch. The TV was on, showing a cheerful children's TV show about a strange yellow duck. A bowl of popcorn was on Francis's lap. "Sir, I had this idea last night-" "Quiet Carl, it's on!" The show's theme song began to play, a repetitive song consisting of mostly the words, "Ducky Mo, Ducky momo". Carl never really liked the show, but his boss sure did, so he watched it on a regular basis. After the half-hour long show was over, Carl remembered what he was going to tell his boss. "Sir, last night I had an idea. You know that time machine in the museum? What would happen if we went back in time to when Heinz Doofenshmirtz was growing up and made his past perfect? He wouldn't be evil at all, and our jobs would be so much easier." Francis rubbed what he had of a chin. "No, it's too risky. You never know how much it could change." "But the Tri-State area would be safer, and a better place to live in! Perry the Platypus would have more days off, like he wants too." "Sorry Carl, it's just a bad idea from the start." Carl watched as Francis switched the channel to another station playing Ducky Momo. Carl frowned. He really thought this was a good idea, and it would probably get him actualy paid for once. He decided that he would try it at night when Francis was sleeping. And if it didn't work, he could always change it again. What could possibly go wrong? -- It was one o' clock in the morning, and Carl was sneaking out of the OWCA HQ to put his plan into action. When he finally reached the museum, he raced over to the Gadgets Through the Ages exhibit, and found the time machine. "Looks like I'm going to the past!" Carl sat in the chair and pulled the lever. Suddenly it was the year 1959 in Gimmelshtump. Carl was amazed at how . . . old-fasioned it looked. "Now to find Heinz's family," he said to himself. He walked form shabby building to shabby building, searching for Heinz or his parents. When he reached the Gimmelshtump General Hospital (more like a shack, really) he found a newborn Heinz Doofenshmirtz inside, being held by a nurse. Carl knew what to do. He raced across Gimmelshtump until he found Doofenshmirtz's parents. He grabbed their hands and pulled them towards the hospital, not understanding their German complaints. When the two parents saw their baby boy, they did smething that surprised both Carl and baby Heinz: they smiled and picked up their laughing baby boy. "Er ist mein Sohn, ich liebe ihn!" Heinz's father announced, and the now happy family left the hospital. Carl hopped back into the time machine and went slowly into the future, solving all of Heinz's family issues. He made sure that every one of Doof's birthdays were celebrated, and that the Doofenshmirtz family kept their treasured lawn gnome. He advised Heinz's mother not to sew dresses for the new baby, and kept his father home while his friends played Poke the Goozim with the Stick, so he wouldn't win the spitzenhound. Carl spent the entire night making sure that Heinz had a great past, and that his parents loved him. Carl had just succeeded in making Heinz's first date love him back when he decided that he would call it a night. "Now back to the future," he said as he pulled the time machine lever. "It's gonna be great." Part One: What Could Have Happened Phineas Flynn was lying on the couch, bored. He was always bored, ever since his sister Candace busted him to his mom. No building for him, and he didn't care. His eyes were drooping, and he didn't want to do anything. ''He was too bored to do anything. The door to the living room opened. "Phineas," his mother called. "The neighbors across the street are here. Why don't you come over and introduce yourself?" Phineas rolled his eyes and trudged over to the living room, where a mexican woman and an eleven-year-old girl were standing. The girl walked up to him. "Hi, I'm Isabella. Whatcha doin?" "What's it to you?" Phineas snapped. He was too bored to put up with stupid girls. Isabella looked hurt. "It's my catchphrase. I say it all the time." "Well, ''don't. It's annoying." "Fine, I don't care." Isabella walked back to her mother. Linda sighed. Why was her son so. . . pathetic? "Phineas, where are Ferb and Candace?" "How should I know?" Linda called up the stairs, "Candace, Ferb! Come say hello to the neighbors!" A teenage girl and twelve-year-old boy walked down the stairs. Their eyes were half closed. Ferb walked over to Isabella, but didn't look at her. He didn't say a single word, just half-heartedly waved. Isabella whispered to Candace, "Does he ever talk?" "Never. I think he's mute." She rolled her eyes. Isabella sighed. There wasn't anybody to make friends with here. She explained to her mother that she was going back to the house and left. -- A platypus was lying on the sidewalk, hoping people would drop pieces of food for him to eat. His whole life was like this. He had a faint memory of his father being a top secret agent, and he remembered that he would be one too, but all the evil scientists were defeated, and they had no use for him. He wished he had an owner, like the other platypuses did. But who would want him? His green fur was not even green anymore, it was covered in mud and who knew what else. His bill was scuffed and his paws covered in scratches. He gave out a little platypus sigh and looked up at the crowd walking around him, ignoring him. -- On the other side of Danville, a teenage boy was sulking. None of the girls liked him, and he hadn't found one to like, either. He'd always dreamed of a beautiful brunette, a goth, like him. But that girl simply ceased to exist. But that girl had ''lived, in another reality. She ceased to exist however, when her father married a whale fanatic named Elizabeth and not her mother. Another boy was sulking because of the lack of the brunette, a certain green-haired one. Niether of the boys ever forgot her. -- Meanwhile, Heinz Doofenshmirtz was the happiest man in Danville. He had a beautiful whale-loving wife, a huge mansion, and a lot of money. Because of his wonderful past, he felt sorry for those less fortunate than he and gave out large ammounts of money to several charities a year. His life was perfect, and he had no idea that his happy life was the cause of suffering for others, and had even wiped out the existance of not only his daughter, but Phineas, Isabella, and Johnny's future children, grandchildren, and on and on. Part Two: Saving Danville When Carl woke up back in the present he knew something was wrong. It was probably because of the fact that the OWCA no longer existed. Major Monogram wasn't there. He had retired long ago since their was no evil to help fight. Carl was beginning to panic and think that maybe changing the past wasn't such a great idea. He raced outside to see what else had gone wrong. He walked down the street, looking for changes in Danville. He couldn't find many differences - until he tripped over something. The something was a platypus, and not just any platypus. "Agent P!" Carl exclaimed. Perry looked up wearily. Carl's heart began to thump. If Perry was . . . like this, then what about the other agents? He dashed around Danville, occasionally seeing scrawny cats, dogs, turltes, kangaroos, all of them lying on the sidewalk, and all of former OWCA agents. "I can't believe I did this!" Carl cried. He had made up his mind, it was time to go back and fix his mistake. -- When Carl finally reached the museum he had to wait in a long line. The museum always had free admition on Fridays, and several people wanted to get in. The second he entered the museum and ran straight for the Gadgets through the Ages exhibit, and found the time machine. He was about to sit down when he he saw two familiar faces - two ''nerdy faces. "I'm so bored, ''Albert. There's nothing to ''do." ''A short redheaded nerd was following a tall blond nerd. Carl recognized them immediatly. Then he saw two other faces he knew. "I don't know, Stacy, there must be a boy for you ''somewhere ''out there." The two groups crashed into each other. Carl's eyes grew wide. "Watch where you're going, geeks," Stacy snapped. "Watch where I'm going? You crashed into me!" Albert turned red. "Yeah, whatever, you nerds are so lame, I don't even know why I'm standing within a mile of you." Stacy crossed her arms and scowled. "You know, if you weren't a girl, I'd give you a piece of my nunchuks!" Carl shrieked. If Stacy and Albert fought, then the whole world was doomed. He reached for the lever and went back into the past. Part Three: Thank goodness for evil Ferb was in his room, staring out the window. There was something empty about his life that he didn't know how to describe. It was like he was missing something spectacular. Something. . .beautiful. A sudden burst of energy flashed through the room. Ferb jumped up. What had just happened? He noticed he was holding a framed picture of Vanessa, the one he had kept ever since that day at Blueprints Heaven. That was weird. Just a second ago he was feeling sad. and he couldn't remember why. He shook his head and ran out of his room. -- Phineas had been lying on the couch as always, bored. And he had felt a sudden shock, like he had poked a fork through an electrical socket. But then he felt something different. He had an idea. "I know what I'm gonna do today!" He grinned and raced to his backyard, almost tripping over his platypus, Perry. "Oh, there you are, Perry. I missed you. Wherever you went." -- Stacy was at the museum with Candace. All of a sudden she wanted, no, ''needed, to see somebody. "See ya later, Candace!" she called as she raced out of the room she was in. She ran into somebody, exactly the right person. "Albert!" Stacy exclaimed hapily. Yes, everything was back to normal. The End Category:Fanon Works Category:Stories Category:Heinz Doofenshmirtz Category:Carl Category:Major Monogram Category:Evil! Category:This has been a Lotta Potato Salad production Category:Phineas Flynn Category:Lotta's stories